Dave

Question: who is the only welsh speaking person to win the World cup and the European club championship in the same year.

Today I hung out with Dave from North Wales whos dream has always been to stand on the great wall of China with his two boys on his fiftieth birthday and this year he's making that dream come through. He's also going to top off his trip by visiting a welsh speaking village in Patagonia, Argentina and sing the Welsh national anthem at the top of his voice and if people feel like joining in well so be it. Good man Dave, the travel bug never dies.
Not once during all our time together did Dave ever try to to ask me back his hotel to watch midget porn, not even once, and I never went because I'm not into those sexy little bastards.

Answer: Gabriel Batistuta

Sir

Suddenly I have become known as Sir. I'm not used to being called Sir and its not something I want to become comfortable with. Now the reason I find this strange is because when I walk the streets I wear a dirty T-shirt, dirty trousers and carry a shitty bag, normally you wouldn't call someone with such attire Sir but because I have white skin I'm a Sir. Its pretty fucked up, I know I should be grateful but its still a fucked up system.

Mr Miyage

So I left for Malaysia still drunk and fucked up from the night before with no sleep, make my ferry on the other side of the island with 2 minutes to spare. And at this point I have no idea how to go to Kuala Lumper, I just know its not in Thailand so I need to be there. Getting of the bus in some town called Hat Yai, this 60 year old Malaysian man with a walking stick who is the re-incarnation of Mr. Miyage takes me under his wing. The atms aren't working so I have no cash, untill I remember 40 aus dollars in the back of my passport pouch. So he helps me change this, barters us a decent deal on a VIP bus and off we go. I'm the only white boy on the bus here. And Mr Miyage starts drawing me maps of Kuala Lumper because I don't have a lonely planet or anything. When we stop I have no malaysian cash so he starts buying me all this local food because he wants me to try it. He tells me about good places to eat in KL, places to visit, and even a cheap hotel to get when we get in at 3 a.m.


Mr Miyage you are a legend and someday hopefully I can be as nice to a fellow traveller.

Hasta luego Dougy

Now dougies gone I'm back on my todd. I'm going to have befriend some innocent young backpacker with the selfish intention of having someone to talk to when I get bored. But my secret alterier motive is to stick my finger up thier ass wether they want me to or not.

I think me and dougy got to see the best and worst of what Thailand has to offer in under 2 weeks. I felt a massive need to get a break from that country, it was getting a bit much. So now I'm Kuala Lumper, chillin like Matt Dillon on Pennisillin.

And one final message to Dougy
Shoot the crows, Castle street, Sligo, Ireland
Pint of Guiness and a bottle of Miller
12 september 2006
Be there or be square

LadyBoys

I had my first encounter with a ladyboy last night, got hit on and I was just fucking around having the craic, with him/her (?) when Dougy came over to let me know he/she was a he. So he got 4 he/she boys to wait outside the club to beat the shit out of Dougy. Lucky Dougy escape being gang rapped be men with no penises (penii) and so far our anal virginity is still intact. Extra caution will be taken in the future.

Life Lesson Learned # 214: Never trust a man with no penis

The one point fivesee's

I went for a number 2see, but it turned out to be a number onesee coming out of the number twosee door, so its kinda like a one point fivesee. It was bound to happen at some point. My experiment may have to wait for another time.

First morning in Koh Phang nang

Once again I wake up feeling like I'm in Apocalypse Now, sweaty, tired and staring at fan, bringing to mind images of helicopters. Anyway I've already decided I need to spend an extended period of time on this island in order to conduct my experiments on mind bending drugs. Experiment No. 1 will require one Mushy shake and one champions league final, the objective of this experiment is to find out wether one can concentrate on football and trip out. The conclusion will be posted soon.

Then I'm going to shove my finger up Dougy's ass, so far he's resisting, I might slip it in there while he's asleep.

its been a while

Over the last few weeks i've been a bit lazy with the old blogspot, the reason for that is that I'm a lazy person .. you can't judge me. And I'm still lazy, I have have loads of good photo's to throw up from the gran prix and all that malarchy but I just haven't bothered.

And sad news my camera broke as soon as the Bluefest started in Byron so for the past month there has been a definite lack of photo's been taken, which I'm not happy about because I love taking random photo's. Now I'm on to camera number 3 and hopefully this one will last. I bought the same one that broke on the first day when I got to Rio, now that might just be asking for trouble but the camera is cheap and cheerful just like me, bad dumm chee. I'll take care of this one I swear.

World Wide Location Update:
KOh Phagan,
When you say Koh Phangan you have to use your best Mr Miyagi impression. So lovely spot, me and Dougy have a very romantic little hut overlooking the sea and we just went out for a very nice meal. Its quite the honeymoon really. Later on I'm going to get him really drunk and stick my finger up his ass. He says not into it but I know he is.

Quick summary of the last few weeks.
I left Melbourne with a tear in my eye and hope in my heart to meet up with all the good good people I had the pleasure to meet there. I loved Melbourne and sometimes I think Melbourne me. So I hit the road with Doug john and the Butcher Boy. ehhh ya thats right I gave the guy who played the butcher in the hit Irish movie a lift to Sydney. Me and John took turns and drove 1800K in 30 hours. It was kinds intense driving. And the curse of Frank rose again, let me tell you about Frank

Frank was my car who I invested so much in an got nothing but stress in return, I don't hate anyone in australia except Frank, I think frank was cursed. In a previous life I think Frank was Oliver Cromwell, Ggeneral Mao or Pol Pot. Everytime I drove frank something went wrong and cost me a fortune, he let me down on so many occasions its not funny. On the plus I did get some great road trips with Bean and Cathy outta Frank. (where are ye shane.kilcullen@gmail.com, love ye). Bottom line Frank sucks.

Life lesson learned #107: Don't trust a second hand car saleman

I don't think you needed to be told that, but I did and now I have a deep disdain for and second hand car salemen.

Now I'd continue on with whats been happening in my life but the clock on the wall says beer O'clock, so I'm going home and I'm taking my football with me.